Solo Travel, Self-Discovery, and Saying Yes

Morgan Ashley, founder of May Nine Five, shares her journey as a creative, queer, and Black solo traveler. From her first solo move to Atlanta to adventures in Mexico City and Guatemala, Morgan discusses how solo travel has shaped her identity, empowered her work, and inspired her passion for pleasure activism. In Morgan's word, "I travel by myself but I am never truly alone because my ancestors always walk with me."

https://linktr.ee/mayninefive 

Transcript

Creative Queerator (00:00)
just find that, yeah, moving as a single person just through the world presents me with like more opportunities. You know, I've across from someone at a restaurant just by myself and they come over and I'm like, hey, you know, I at your tattoos, I want to say hi

I move with intention on my own just because I find that the world has just been much more, guess, open to me. And I find that I just get more opportunities. When I'm by myself.

Kelli Wall (00:20)
Yeah.

Creative Queerator (00:21)
And it's really worked for my benefit to move alone.

Kelli Wall (00:23)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli Wall (00:26)
Welcome to Solo Travel Unpacked, where we explore the world one solo travel story at a time.

I'm your host Kelli and I believe that solo travel.

is a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and connection.

Each episode, we'll meet a different solo traveler and hear their insights, experiences, and lessons learned.

We'll also take a look at a key solo travel topic

to give you the tools and inspiration for your own adventure.

It's time to hear from today's guest and unpack another solo travel story.

Kelli Wall (00:55)
Welcome back to Solo Travel Unpacked, podcast where we explore solo travel as a path to self-discovery.

Empowerment and Connection, one story at a time.

In today's episode, we're diving into what it means to solo travel black, especially as a solo femme.

2022 MMGY Global Study.

Black US travelers spent over 109 leisure travels.

Yet so many conversations about solo travel still don't reflect the full range of voices.

and experiences shaping this space.

That's what we're unpacking today.

My guest today is Morgan Ashley, Oakland-raised, now Baltimore-based entrepreneur.

Retail strategist, bestselling author.

and creative visionary.

Morgan Ashley is the founder of May Nine Five

a company centered on pleasure activism.

Education.

and modernistic retail.

She's also no stranger to solo travel.

first major solo move was in 2009 when she moved to Atlanta without knowing a soul.

Since then, she's taken solo trips for both work and pleasure.

weaving creativity, empowerment.

journey.

This conversation is full of honesty, inspiration. And real talk about claiming space.

finding joy and traveling in your full identity.

Let's get into it.

Kelli Wall (02:17)
So Morgan, I'm so excited to have you on Solo Travel Unpacked. Your journey is so layered, not just geographically.

Creative Queerator (02:23)
Yes. ⁓

Kelli Wall (02:24)
with where you traveled and where you lived, but creatively and professionally as well. So let's start there. Can you give us a snapshot of who you are outside of travel? We'll dig into travel more, but can you give us an overlook of who you are outside of travel?

Creative Queerator (02:30)
Okay.

Yeah.

see, where do I begin? I'm an Oakland native originally from California. I always start with that. Like a lot of times when I'm, you know, maybe met someone 10 years ago and I run into them and they're like, oh, hey, we've met before. And I'm like, have we? And they're like, the girl from Oakland, right? And I'm like, okay, yes, we have. Because I never not talk about my home. I have a deep, deep pride being from the Bay Area and Oakland specifically, especially before gentrification.

being a child of the 80s and 90s. It's like one of my favorite places in the I kind of grew up all over the Bay Area, always lived in one spot, but like went to Berkeley schools. And so I went to Berkeley High School and then from there did a couple years at like different two year colleges and then moved with kind of not much of a warning to my family and friends to Atlanta. so that truly probably is like what kind of kicked off the lack of fear.

And so I was really afraid when I first touched down to Atlanta, but after that I was like, okay, if I can move across the country with I think maybe $600 in my pocket, two suitcases, no friends, no family, like no place to live really. The only thing I really had was like an acceptance letter to school here in Atlanta. And so that really kind of just like pushed me out of my comfort zone. And so from there, I kind of became this like woman who is wildly into travel, but.

you know, it's answering that question about kind of what I'm into. So I think for a very long time, I, you know, as a founder of a brand, I'm no longer a part of Souk Bohemian was a lot of who kind of how I define myself because it was such a labor of love. I think many of us who are entrepreneurs, right? You're like, okay, I do this, I make this, I'm that person. And so the last year of my life has been really

not just physically removing myself from there, but spiritually, if that makes sense, not being defined by your work, because when all else fails, you are still sitting in this room by yourself. And so whether you have clients or customers, all of those things could disappear, you're still this whole human being. And so it really has been interesting and quite uncomfortable at times working on defining myself outside of that. so, now I'm just like this...

Kelli Wall (04:20)
Mm-hmm, yeah.

Yes.

Creative Queerator (04:40)
sort of still sometimes a hot mess of a human who really just makes time and money for travel. then everything else I've kind of just been like figuring out. Like I kind of of like a child again in some sense. Do you know what I mean? Like I'm kind of starting over and then that is like, yeah, as I'm saying that to you, I feel a lot like how I did like in my teens. You know when like your body is physically uncomfortable?

Kelli Wall (05:04)
Yeah.

Creative Queerator (05:05)
And you're also like hormones are raging. You like thinking everything, but you really don't. That's a lot of what I've been experiencing for the last year. And so I'm really just, yeah, myself and that alters and chains and shifts. And it feels really freeing to just allow myself to be, if that

Kelli Wall (05:19)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (05:21)
sense.

Kelli Wall (05:22)
I love exactly what you just said, that

not running away from the discomfort. You're not running away from that feeling that you are sitting in it and owning in it. And I think that's something really special. And you said like a child, and it just reminds me so much of like a childlike wonder. You know, I think there's the beauty in that too. So I love that you moved across the country to Atlanta as, you know, when you're 18, you feel so old, but you look back and you're like, we're babies.

Creative Queerator (05:30)
Absolutely.

Yes.

Yeah.

No, I was the actual

I actually shared a photo of myself on my Instagram stories the other day and I was not expecting to get that much feedback. I mean, a lot of them were just laughter like emojis, but it was a photo of when I first moved to Atlanta in 2009 and everyone was like, you look like you were 12. And so at now 38, you know, I definitely don't feel like that 22 year old when I moved, especially now on this new journey of living in a new city and stuff, but

I was very, very young and I'm trying to sort of allow myself to get my footing again. So it's been uncomfortable, but like I said, a lot of fun.

Kelli Wall (06:22)
Yeah, but you're embracing it and that's really special. So I know you obviously did this massive move by yourself where you knew nobody and so let's dig a little bit more into solo travel. So what led you to solo travel and what kind of trips do you take now? is that sort of more a pleasure trip, more for work?

Creative Queerator (06:24)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

trying to think about where the first place I ever traveled by myself, it probably was somewhere like local when I was living in Georgia, maybe to like Alabama or something, my dad's side is from there. And so probably that was like the first trip. I'm, want to say that too, because a lot of people don't consider traveling within the US like traveling.

And that really bothers the shit out of me. Like it bothers me so bad because there's so many different cultures and languages and foods and just different lifestyles across just this country. And so yes, it does matter whether you're in a car or on a boat or a plane, whatever on foot you're traveling. Alabama probably was the first time ever by myself. And so maybe like a four hour thinking about the first international

Kelli Wall (06:58)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (07:19)
Mexico City might have been it. and that honestly, the first time I've been in Mexico City four times now, the first time was not intentional. if I'm being honest, I have a friend who lives in LA and close, close friend. She's a producer. And so if you know anything about the industry in Los Angeles, a job will come and you're like, I have to take it. And so we had booked everything. Yeah. We were, I want to say four days out from, flying out.

me from Atlanta and her from Los Angeles. And she was like, Hey, I got this gig, I can't turn it down. And I was like, well, we can't get our money back for Airbnb. So what I'm going to do. I'm gonna go and everyone in my life was like, what you're go to Mexico by yourself? And then and I'm like, yeah, like, what's the worst that could happen? And for me, the worst that could happen is like, I don't know, you die. then like, So I just always thought like, if you're gonna go out vacation, like, to me, that's the way to do it.

And so from there, I've just kind of been doing it on my own. And then the second trip alone to Mexico City was seven days by myself. That was for a birthday trip, maybe four, five years ago, because it during the pandemic. And so it's just been from there, like you just can't stop me. It's so much fun. I have no fear. That isn't to say I'm not cautious, I'm not safe, but I'm from a major city. I think maybe if you're from a New York, you're from a...

LA, you're from Oakland, you know, these places and you just move how you would on the streets there. So my lifestyle when I'm traveling abroad or just by myself in general doesn't really shift and change. ⁓ And that's really probably what I would tell everyone to fucking go.

Kelli Wall (08:34)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah,

Creative Queerator (08:46)
go.

Kelli Wall (08:47)
Be smart, be aware of your surroundings. And you said, you made such a good point because somebody else I talked to said the same thing. A lot of these guests, including myself, my solo travel is these big global trips and it's let's see the world, but there's so much more of the world that you don't have to use your passport for, that you can drive down the street for. So I thank you for saying that because I think too, that gets lost in solo travel is that people think these big grandiose trips, which again, it can totally be, but there are so many things.

Creative Queerator (08:49)
Yes.

Right.

Right.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Kelli Wall (09:14)
close by, so I thank you again for saying that because it is something that does get lost. But I'm curious because you're so creative. You've authored a book, you have your May Nine Five business, you've done so much. Do you find that these trips fuel your creativity and the different work that you do?

Creative Queerator (09:14)
Yes.

Oh yes,

yes, yes. A lot of my trips when I had my previous brand, a lot of the trips were buying trips. And so it was always time. I,

typically when I'm traveling, buying, I bring empty duffel bags. And so that was always, I always made time to find goods to bring back. Such a big part of who our brand was and, you know, me just as an individual.

I really just enjoy experiencing things and being able to have those memories. So yeah, it's great to take some photos on your iPhone or even a camera if you have that talent. But I love being able to connect with just different local artisans and just folks on the street. I remember being in Guatemala and the driver I had at the time had to stop on the side of the road and just use the restroom or whatever, but there was just these families there and they were just so kind and so sweet.

So even just like I bought a bunch of like straw fans from them and hug the kids. We just had a really great time connecting. My Spanish is not so great, but I find that language is a very small barrier for me when I'm traveling. I think it's more so about energy, right? Find a common denominator. Like music should be that I think for

Kelli Wall (10:32)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (10:36)
If you name a popular artist or you start to play a song on your iPhone.

throughout some place at a market and songs are playing, you're dancing, someone's going to come up to you and want to dance with you or spark a conversation if you happen to share something in common. yeah, it just feels necessary, I think, to find those, again, those things that kind of bring us together that we all have in common to like make a friend.

Kelli Wall (10:57)
than just language too. And even the vibe that you give off, I'm like, you know, kindness, a smile, hug, you know, like you said, greeting those kids, like you don't need to speak the language. But I have to say, speaking of creativity, when I was looking at your Instagram, you have some pretty amazing tattoos. So I have to ask, you know, my next question, are any of those tied to your journey, both professionally and personally as an entrepreneur? Do they represent anything?

Creative Queerator (11:00)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. Yeah.

you know, it's a question I have done a decent amount of press in my life, and I've never got that. So I really appreciate that. Absolutely. I have gotten more ink in the last maybe nine months that I have in my entire life. And that's because I spent the last year traveling within the US and outside. And so I always get a tattoo pretty much any city. And so that is from like, Charlotte, North Carolina to Mexico City to

Kelli Wall (11:28)
Of course.

Creative Queerator (11:45)
Cartagena, Columbia, Brooklyn, New York, Los Angeles, like I always just get tattoos. And call this my California arm. I mean, it literally says And then so part of it is dedicated to my home and then all of my travels. And so there's like Milan, Italy, there's Columbia, Mexico City, Charlotte, another Mexico City. And then this is arm is kind of dedicated to Atlanta, the many years, 16, over 16 years I spent there.

say Georgia and other things. And then I have a bunch of like really nerdy, like Harry Potter and Totoro and things like that. Yeah, so all of a lot of what's on my right side. And then I have a shin sleeve on my right side that I'm still working on. those are my tattoos when I'm traveling are like better than any souvenir I could bring back, right? I can't lose it.

Kelli Wall (12:19)
love it.

Right.

Creative Queerator (12:33)
⁓

nothing can go wrong. Even the ones that are not so great, And so I always just have that story, to tell when, you know, someone like you might ask, and then it's always a way for me to reconnect with those people when I go back to wherever they were from.

Kelli Wall (12:41)
Yeah.

It's such a beautiful representation and memory I'm sure when you see them to remind you of that. think that's just so cool. I'm like, can I get a fridge magnet? And you're like, can I get a tattoo?

Creative Queerator (12:49)
Yeah.

Yeah, okay. And that's okay, You

know, I've got a couple key chains and shot glasses in a long time, know, especially to give to friends or family. I really all of my tattoos are reminders for me, they're stories for me, they're memories for me. And then I think maybe a couple years ago, I also just decided like, I don't care if, you know, if I needed to ever, you know, apply somewhere and get a job or do this. And they, you know, had some kind of rules about tattoos. I'm just like, I also don't give a fuck like.

Kelli Wall (13:03)
It's awesome.

Yeah.

Creative Queerator (13:22)
My memories

from those experiences outweigh anything else.

Kelli Wall (13:26)
not the right job for you. Well, I know when I first reach out, love to dig, I always ask people, what topic do you want to discuss? So you, the feedback you gave me, I want to dive more into your experience as traveling as a black femme woman solo. What have been some of those joys and challenges of that experience for you?

Creative Queerator (13:27)
Right,

Okay.

Yes. Yeah.

I'm laughing a little bit just because

it's just very like me to be able to go someplace and connect regardless of how.

folks identify and then we can kind of sometimes spark up conversations. But I think just as this like single, I typically move as a single black woman, whether I'm in a relationship or not, right? So I mean, that is like, do a lot of stuff on my own. I go to movies on my own, do date nights on my own. I travel a lot in where I live outside of on my own. I do that with intention because

Kelli Wall (13:53)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (14:14)
really walk into the world alone, you are just introduced, I find you so much more, do you know what I

just find that, yeah, moving as a single person just through the world presents me with like more opportunities. You know, I've across from someone at a restaurant just by myself and they come over and I'm like, hey, you know, I at your tattoos, I want to say hi or.

I've been in other countries and I've had people invite me to dinners that I went to and had a great time. those things, especially what I'm traveling abroad are not things I do when I'm at home, whether it's in the Bay Area or in Atlanta or other places. But yeah, I move with intention on my own just because I find that the world has just been much more, guess, open to me. And I find that I just get more opportunities. When I'm by myself. So I...

Kelli Wall (14:41)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Creative Queerator (14:55)
I don't know, people are like, I could never go out by myself. I'd be too embarrassed to go to this museum opening by myself. And I'm like, I don't have those ideas and mindsets. And it's really worked for my benefit to move alone.

Kelli Wall (15:02)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

move with intention. I love that. I love that. That is special. you've traveled, like you said, to so many different places and you touched on this just a bit, but I'm curious, are there any places where you felt welcomed or on the opposite end of the spectrum, not welcomed?

Creative Queerator (15:08)
Yeah. Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, let's talk about being welcomed. I guess some place more than others, but like everywhere. And I'm going to tell you not because people literally welcome me with open arms, but if I'm being honest, I'm the kind of person who's like energetically, I'm a kick down a door. Do you know what I mean? And so like, you know, my friend has a joke that likes, I love to take her to like little tiny, like really

Kelli Wall (15:37)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (15:44)
conservative like white towns, like when I want to go to like antique shopping, she's like, what are we doing out here? And I'm like, I don't, I am getting looks. have tattoos, have the jewelry, all the things I curse a lot. I'm not someone you can really ignore easily in public. And so I just really just like quiet out the noise. And so if there is someone who is uncomfortable with my presence, that's for them. That doesn't have anything to do with me. And so again, even the places where I'm not welcome, I'm fucking welcome.

Kelli Wall (16:06)
Yes.

Yes.

Creative Queerator (16:10)
So,

you know, really

but places that warm in the welcome. Let's see, Guatemala. I had a beautiful time there. A friend found like in the mountains, like this beautiful Airbnb and the husband was from Germany and the wife was from Guatemala. they had this beautiful, gorgeous home that was literally built in a cliff. And

The houses are not connected, but it is on one property. And so like, I'm the kind of person, like I just walked up to their property and like, I ended up like introducing myself, right? And hanging out with our kids and I was asking them, asking their mom to ask them in Spanish, like what kind of music like, so I heard hip hop, right? Like that's the same in every language for the most part. And so I started to play some like Atlanta music for the like the two boys and they just were so thrilled. And so it felt really nice to introduce them to like parts of my culture.

and then while being like in their home space, know, in their home country. So Guatemala would be that. Let's see, where in the everywhere. I spent a decent amount of time this past summer in Brooklyn. Everywhere I went throughout this summer and fall, was deciding if I wanted to live there. I love New York. It's, yes, one of the best cities in the world. It is not for me to live there. have, as extroverted as I am, I have some social anxieties.

And I also don't do their public transit. I will do anybody else's pretty much. But the subway is not really, we're not friends. ⁓ And so yeah, did though have a great time. Just kind of, was on foot a lot. Had a great time there. then London. Yeah, London, would say for sure. There's a very strong

Kelli Wall (17:32)
Yeah.

Creative Queerator (17:42)
culture. So whether people are from Ghana.

Nigeria or they're Jamaican, right? There's a really long, a strong population of black folks there who I really connect with because so much of my culture growing up in the US is very similar. Paris, would say like, which is funny because it's how I describe myself. I don't, I'm not a nice person. Like I always tell people that. Like, you know, no one's ever been like Morgan, you know, like they're really nice, but you'll never hear that. But I am very, very, very kind and I've always strived to be kind. Nice is not something I enjoy.

if I'm being honest. And so I would say the same Paris. People were not you know, especially living in the South for so long, people have that warmth. No, it's almost sometimes the opposite in a lot of settings. And so I had to remind myself when

Kelli Wall (18:20)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (18:26)
in someone's home, you know, you can't just demand, right? So in the South, let's say if you're sitting down in a restaurant, someone's like, my gosh, welcome. I'm like, know, they're like the menu. And you're like, okay. Yeah.

Kelli Wall (18:34)
Yeah, yeah, what do you want?

Creative Queerator (18:38)
do you want it blind? And I'm like, you don't want to tell me about the

And I'm like, no, that's like not how that goes there. I think instead of complaining about certain things, like you need to kind of

yourself.

Kelli Wall (18:47)
That's such a powerful statement too, because, and I love you said, I'm not nice, but I'm kind. And I get, I think that's such an interesting perspective to look at and just so many different things that you said about just owning. I'm going back kind of far here, but when you said, you know, if they have a problem with it, that's their problem, that's not mine. And I think that is just such a beautiful way to look at it. And it's such a mature way because I think so much.

Creative Queerator (18:50)
Mm-hmm.

Yes.

Kelli Wall (19:09)
We take that in on ourselves, right? And that creates this fear of like, well, I don't wanna go because I don't know what they're gonna think. But I just am trying to absorb all these wonderful anecdotes that you're giving because they're so helpful, right? And they're gonna be so helpful in solo travel with people that are just a little bit uncomfortable. But I did touch on in the very beginning, your work with May Nine Five

Creative Queerator (19:11)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes. Yeah.

Kelli Wall (19:31)
your work through May Nine Five centers around pleasure activism and empowerment. So how does that mindset influence the way you travel or the destinations that you choose?

Creative Queerator (19:35)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'm laughing because close friends know what the goal of mine to be like queer in

city. And so once it kind of just touched on the brand a little bit, the idea of May Nine Five came to me probably and a half, 17 years ago. And I just, I don't know if that happens with you, like something will click with you and you maybe write it down, put it in a journal or whatever and never touch it.

And so I didn't do anything with it until about 2022. And it really came about because my lifestyle coming from the Bay Area moving to the a huge growing up in the Bay Area, like I never needed to buy a condom, a spermicide, anything that you need, no matter who your sexual partners are, right? Whether you're queer, straight, whatever. Because our lifestyle is just more open and more sex positive.

Kelli Wall (20:22)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (20:29)
And so when I moved to the South, it felt like this like stop sign with my sexuality in regards to like even protecting myself, even though Georgia has some of the highest pregnancy rates in the country. And so I had this idea to find a really cool way to talk about sex and also talk about safe sex because for me, those two things go hand in hand. And so it isn't just about the physical act of having sex. I've actually been...

practicing abstinence on and off for the last probably like more than three years and always after a partnership, I always take space for myself. And so it isn't so much about the act of having sex, but I find that people just literally even at our age do not know how to protect themselves. I meet people all the time who literally still do not know how to contract HIV and I'm like, yikes. And so it's not about shaming them, but about education. And so it's, you know, providing access to folks to information.

There's so much stuff online and I know things can be overwhelming, especially if God forbid you find yourself in a space where you needed to get tested because something happened. And so being able to provide this like in this moment, a digital space with my Instagram and websites to be able to talk to people about safe sex practices, what it still means. I get this all the time too, like, what is queer? And I'm like, okay, we're having these conversations, huh?

And so yeah, just giving a safe but like really easy going space for that. And so when I'm traveling, I'm having those same conversations because I also just want to learn about how people in different cities, states, countries, in different cultures are, how they kind of maneuver around sex and protecting themselves and sexuality as a whole. So it's just been really fun to have those conversations, whether I'm at a wine shop in London or, you know, at a friend's birthday party in Brooklyn, just making this a topic that

I just want to take the like that pressure, that uneasiness off, you know? And so I just don't feel like we are all talking about it enough until something happens, you know,

Kelli Wall (22:12)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Yeah.

Creative Queerator (22:18)
sort of too late. so, and, you know, I don't even really like that. It's never too late, right? Even if you've contracted something, it's never too late. I don't believe in the shame surrounding that. I understand that it's there and present. I mean, I don't believe it in a way like I would never shame someone.

for something that happened to them and their bodies. So, May Nine Five really is that kind of vehicle for me to be able to talk to people about safe sex practices and just education and yes, how important it is to also have an orgasm. Lots of people, in particular straight women, these are real statistics that just are getting into their 40s and have never had an orgasm with their partner. I find that those numbers are lot smaller in other countries.

Kelli Wall (22:34)
Yeah.

Creative Queerator (23:00)
You know, so there's lots to unpack here with that.

Kelli Wall (23:01)
Yeah. Yeah. Well,

there's so much stigma around it, pending people's background, it's uncomfortable, but it doesn't no bounds either. So I think it's, you know, you talk about different countries, but you said creating this safe space. And I think that's just so important. This safe space of judgment free. It is just really special that you found that niche and can bring it to life. And of course too, to incorporating to your travels in other countries. I think I just,

commend you so much for that. think that's amazing that you saw something and not just saw it, but are acting on it.

Creative Queerator (23:34)
I was just gonna say, I make a point when I'm traveling to find like, whether it's a gay, lesbian, or just overall queer club. And so that's also like a space. So when I go alone or with friends, it's been a really great way to connect with other queer people from other places and be able to like start this sparkless conversation. So when I was in London most recently, in November,

this past fall, I did a couple nights at a shared Airbnb and the host, I literally made sure it had to be some research, but those were two queer men. And so one of them took me out to a gay bar in the neighborhood that we walked to together. And so it was really just fun, especially after a couple of drinks to talk to him about sex with his partner and what the neighborhood's like and what people are talking about and what they're doing. And that's information I don't think I could have.

God, even with Instagram, I could not have gotten that kind of information without just making a friend and deciding to go out with him.

Kelli Wall (24:22)
Mm-hmm. Mm-mm.

Yeah, a true connection. Yeah. Yes.

Creative Queerator (24:29)
Exactly, physical. As much as, you know, I'm a

geriatric millennial, so of course I live online, but I am a people person. If I cannot physically smell, touch, experience folks, I am unhappy. I gotta get outside.

Kelli Wall (24:42)
Yeah,

I'm on the geriatric end with you. So it's all good. But I love that you spoke about how you go to the different clubs when you're in the different cities. And I wanted to ask you, if someone is listening, a Black woman and or femme, and thinking about taking their first trip, what's one message you want to leave them with?

Creative Queerator (24:45)
Okay, yeah.

Yeah.

so interesting because the way that I also say I show up differently, depending on where I'm traveling to, and that even means being in the US versus being out of the country. the first message is it's not really that scary out there, right? And in those other places, countries and yes, shit can happen. But if you are a black woman in the

chances are that the craziest and scariest shit that's ever happened to you has happened to you in the US, right? It's like, of all my friends and people I know who travel, I've never, not to say it has happened, but very rarely do they tell me a story and you're like, oh my God, what? Right? That's the stuff that happens here, you know? And so when I was able to kind

Kelli Wall (25:36)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (25:41)
sit with that and then know that is my truth, it made traveling so much easier. It's so, it's just like, it's not that scary. It's not that scary.

Kelli Wall (25:48)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (25:49)
Especially,

Kelli Wall (25:49)
Yeah.

Creative Queerator (25:50)
we have the gift of looking very young, no matter how old we are. And so I think I mentioned that to you when I was writing to you that most of the time, people assume I'm like a 20 something year old college student. And so if you were going to like, you know, rob me, I'm probably not the one you're going to go after, let's be honest, right? I'm okay with your assumptions, especially if I'm traveling alone. And so yeah, I just I want people to know it's not that scary. Just fucking go.

Kelli Wall (26:05)
Yeah, it's

Awesome, well we are getting close to the end of our conversation, but I did, do wanna ask, because I ask everybody, you've been to so many different places, but is there any solo story you wanna tell? Maybe a specific trip that stands out to you or an experience on a trip that you wanna share.

Creative Queerator (26:19)
Mm-hmm.

see, I wasn't solo, but it was...

city. I was with a friend. So I travel, I fly a lot by myself, and then I'll maybe stay someplace for sometimes hours or even a day or two by myself. And this is I don't remember what trip this is on in Mexico City, but I flew in by myself and met a friend. This just tells you the world is so, so small. And so my friend and I, if you've been to Mexico City, there's little squares everywhere. It's just full of trees and outdoors. Everything is walkable. And so we were in one of the squares and

We saw these guys who I assume were dog walkers at the time because they had a bunch of dogs with them. And so the guy caught our eye and we're like, you know, do that and keep going. And so we moved to the other side of the park and we see him again. And we're like, okay, that's odd. We're seeing him like an hour later. We go to these shops, we see him outside of the shop again. And we're like, okay, this is like, we have to say something, right?

And so we come out to the shop, we're like, you know, hola, like, you speak English, and he's like, yeah, I speak English. We're like, so start talking to him. He's like, what are you guys doing later? And we're like, nothing. Like, do you want to hang out? Again, I would never do this in the US. Like, never, right? I need someone to say, okay, Kelli's really cool. You should connect with her. And so he's like, do you want to come back to my place? I'm like, should we do it? And he's like, but I live in a church and I'm thinking some kind of converted situation, like whatever, whatever.

Kelli Wall (27:48)
Mm-hmm.

Creative Queerator (27:48)
right? So we go to dinner. He's like, okay, we can walk to my place, walk to his house. He literally lived in an abandoned church. It literally an abandoned church, we had to walk upstairs that were almost non existent. Like the stairs were so old, they were like falling apart. He had to skip like every third one. On the way up me and my friend are holding each other's hand like, are we doing this? Like, is this a good idea?

Kelli Wall (28:09)
I can't believe

you kept going up the stairs.

Creative Queerator (28:12)
No, we

didn't. Because I was like, already here, right? But we're still talking to each other like, girl, are we doing this? You get to the top of the stairs, He shows us around. I remember going to his bedroom. And he's like, you know, I don't know, bigger guy. He's like, let me show you my cool stuff. We're like, OK, whatever. So he takes out this t-shirt, and it says Los Racas. Los Racas is a band from Panama by way of Oakland, California, where I'm from. I used to actually date one of the members of the band, right? And so he's like, you know this band? And I'm like,

Kelli Wall (28:14)
Okay.

Creative Queerator (28:40)
Fuck yeah, like they're kind of a big deal where we're from, right? So he's like, oh my god, I love them. So we're like, how crazy about this guy in Mexico City? this is a, it's such a niche, like, you know, artist. And so we're like, okay, he's the cool guy, right? He has this t-shirt, knows this band, like they're pretty great. And so he's like, okay, do you guys want to go to the rooftop? I'm like, okay, anything like the stairs. And it's worse. They're tiny little metal.

Kelli Wall (28:51)
Great.

Creative Queerator (29:06)
Circular stairs. I'm praying on the way up and I'm like, please God don't let me die get to the rooftop of this abandoned church that him and his friend live in and it is gorgeous. They have couches up there. There's candles. There's all these like different people the views from Mexico City were impeccable Impeccable and so like after I sat down I want to say I did take a shot to like calm my nerves But after I sat on my couch, I just was like look what you would have missed Look what you would have missed if you didn't say yes

Kelli Wall (29:24)
Wow.

Creative Queerator (29:35)
And like we spent days with him. took us to all these like great vegan restaurants. I'm still had some of the best vegan food of my life in

Kelli Wall (29:35)
Yeah.

Creative Queerator (29:41)
City because of him. I just, had my, he made my trip and the people he introduced me to, I got this tattoo because of a girl I met because of him who was doing this pop-up on the side of the road at this like little gallery or whatever. So that is worth it. That is why it will always continue to travel, whether it's alone or with friends and like say yes to all the experiences that.

He made my week. I haven't talked to him in very long time, so wherever he is, I'm sending love, but that is worth it. Like, that is what I'm chasing when I travel.

Kelli Wall (30:12)
Serendipity meeting him outside repeatedly like that. That's that's such a cool story. Yeah, I get to the top and say a few Hail Marys and take some shots and it was fine. And and then you're here to tell about it. That's a really cool story.

Creative Queerator (30:13)
Yes.

Yeah, was like, gosh, okay, yeah, yeah. Exactly.

Kelli Wall (30:26)
Awesome. Well, thank you so much, Morgan. It's been so wonderful talking to you. So we will end this episode of Solo Travel Unpacked how we end every episode with the same three questions. So question number one.

Creative Queerator (30:35)
Okay.

Kelli Wall (30:38)
The advice I'd give to someone considering solo travel is...

Creative Queerator (30:43)
the advice I would give is to just fucking go. Like I could give you some other stuff and blah, blah, blah, but just go, just do it. life, I know people say that time, but it is quite, quite short. Just book it and go figure out the rest later.

Kelli Wall (31:00)
Ditto, agreed. My favorite part about solo travel is...

Creative Queerator (31:02)
Yeah.

favorite part about solo travel is being able to connect with other folks without anybody else's opinion. When you're traveling with friends or groups, right, you have to like, are you hungry? Should we stop and go get something to Right. Or are you hot? Should we go somewhere and cool down? Like you don't have to worry about anyone else but yourself. And so that is my favorite part about not having to check in with anybody else's schedule.

Kelli Wall (31:18)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah, just do you. Something I learned about myself during solo travel is...

Creative Queerator (31:29)
Mm-hmm.

Something I learned about myself.

I've learned that I'm a great storyteller. I'm a great connector of dots. And I'm a true friend. That is what I've learned with traveling by myself.

Kelli Wall (31:44)
you so much, Morgan. This episode has had so much depth to it and I have absolutely loved our conversation. Thank you for sharing your insight, your power, your perspective, your inspiration. Seriously, this conversation has been amazing. You've had a beautiful journey and I appreciate you sharing the details and hopefully, I'm sure you have inspired somebody out there. So thank you so much and yeah, this has been wonderful. Of course, of course. Thank you so much.

Creative Queerator (31:51)
Of course.

Hahaha.

I hope so. Yeah. Thank you for having me. I appreciate your time.