Radical Acceptance Through Solo Travel: A Story of Grief, Growth & Healing

After an unimaginable series of losses—both of her parents, a second-trimester pregnancy loss, and her two senior rescue dogs—Lauran took her first solo trip at 40. What started as a way to process grief became a ritual of reconnection and radical acceptance. In this powerful episode, Lauran shares how solo travel helped her rediscover herself, redefine healing, and embrace life with curiosity and courage. Whether you're navigating your own turning point or seeking inspiration to travel solo, this conversation will stay with you.

#SoloTravelUnpacked

Transcript

Lauran Peoples (00:00)
I had to go. I had been in my condo in Richmond and it was just like loss after loss after loss. And I'm like, I can't stay here. I have to, I have to leave. I have to go.

Kelli Wall (00:09)
Welcome to Solo Travel Unpacked, where we explore the world one solo travel story at a time.

I'm your host Kelli and I believe that solo travel.

is a journey of self-discovery, empowerment, and connection.

Each episode, we'll meet a different solo and hear their insights, experiences, and lessons learned.

We'll also take a look at a key solo travel topic

to give you the tools and inspiration for your own adventure.

It's time to hear from today's guest and unpack another solo travel story.

Kelli Wall (00:39)
Welcome back to Solo Travel Unpacked. I'm your host Kelli,

and today we're exploring a powerful reason that many people decide to start traveling solo.

navigating a major life change.

In fact, a recent survey found that more than 40 % of solo travelers.

started after experiencing a significant life event.

My guest today, Lauren, is one of them.

After losing both of her parents, experiencing a second trimester pregnancy loss.

and saying goodbye to her two senior rescue dogs.

Lauren took her first solo trip at 40.

as an intentional act of radical acceptance.

Lauren, solo travel became a ritual of reconnection.

a way not to But to be deeper in relationship with herself.

to practice presence, grant yourself permission.

And fully listen to what was waiting to be heard.

Today we're unpacking how solo travel can help us process grief, clarity.

create meaning after life has been turned upside down.

Kelli Wall (01:36)
Lauran, I'm so grateful you're here and open to sharing your story. I know this journey into solo travel came from such a personal space. But before we talk about that more, I'd love to get to know you a little bit outside of travel. So can you tell me a little bit about yourself outside of your travel?

Lauran Peoples (01:52)
Yeah, outside of travel, I actually work in the tourism industry. I've been in hospitality and tourism for about a little over 20 years. It always sounds weird to say that, but a little over 20 years. The sector that I work in is the destination marketing side. So when you travel or you visit places like destination DC or visit Orlando,

Travel just doesn't happen. There is an entire silent machine behind each destination and their marketing and advertising to get you to even consider them. So that is what I do kind of outside of travel, although it's related to travel.

am in Richmond, Virginia. I'm a Virginia native and I've been in Richmond for a little under eight years. outside of travel, I am a pretty laid back lady. I travel a lot for work. So I'm usually on the road, but yeah, that's me outside of travel.

Kelli Wall (02:57)
So travel is really woven into your personal and professional life. Yeah.

Lauran Peoples (03:01)
It is, it is

at a very core level.

And I think the travel industry is very transient. So I always think it's interesting when people find community and a home in the travel

Kelli Wall (03:14)
you are the one that helps make all of our trips smoother. So thank you for that.

Lauran Peoples (03:17)
Absolutely.

Kelli Wall (03:20)
So Lauran, let's start at the beginning. And I know I spoke about this in your intro, but in your own words, what inspired you to take that very first solo trip?

Lauran Peoples (03:29)
It was grief,

very simply put. was a grief. was very layered. I kind of had this feeling of just not knowing what was next. So it was uncertainty too. It was uncertainty. And there were so many things that I did not know.

But there was one thing that I did know and that was that I was alone and I was by myself. So it was grief. I was uncertain about so many things, but I knew that where I was in life, I was certain that if I did not.

go full force ahead and stare it in the face that it was something that I would likely be running from for the rest of my life. So it was grief and uncertainty.

Kelli Wall (04:15)
Yeah. And I, I know I said this to you, sorry. I'm a very emotional person when I read your email and I just, no. I, when I read your form, I thought I said, I mean, and I wish I could just give you a hug and you, can just tell from speaking to you in these few minutes, what a beautiful soul that you are. And the fact that you turn this into this opportunity to look inward is just incredible.

Lauran Peoples (04:21)
I'm a crier too. Don't do it, Kelli.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Kelli Wall (04:39)
And if you're comfortable with it, I'd like to start, you know, that moment, I know you talked about uncertainty and grief, but when you booked that first solo trip, what was going through your mind as you stepped into that decision and what did it feel like to choose travel as your way forward?

Lauran Peoples (04:53)
You know, it kind of happened, I will say it kind of happened organically. You know, it was, I was coming up on a milestone birthday. I was turning 40 and the losses that I experienced with my parents, the pregnancy and moving forward, I'll refer to my daughter as Phoebe. I did have to name her and my two dogs.

It was like this milestone year and I was turning 40 and I was thinking about it and I was so sad, so sad. And I just, didn't know what to do, but I knew that I didn't want to go out to dinner with friends and come home and cry myself to sleep. And I knew that I was going into a new decade. So I didn't want to ignore it. So I started.

just I think searching on Google and I said, well, maybe I'll do a retreat and Sedona popped up.

And I had gone to Phoenix earlier in the year for a work trip. And I remember feeling the energy like it was wide open spaces. It was beautiful. And I was like, I could I could go back to Arizona. And so I started searching solo or retreats. then through a series of random events, I found this company. And and that's how I ended up deciding that this is what I was

to do for my 40th birthday.

Kelli Wall (06:20)
So I'm in that phase of my life where a lot of my friends are turning 40 and another friend of mine was going through major life changes as well and we went out to Santa Fe. So she was in the same kind of mind space as you touched on, kind of the vibe that you get out there. I don't know what it is about out West and these beautiful communities but.

Lauran Peoples (06:28)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli Wall (06:37)
You started to touch on this a little bit and I'm curious as people are navigating through grief in your life and like you said, it wasn't, you you didn't want to go to dinners, but you wanted to find what it was that worked for you. What was it about travel? I know that you said it was organically, but what led you to that versus picking up another, you know, way to find yourself through the grief?

Lauran Peoples (06:58)
think for me, especially with processing grief and feeling kind of very stagnant in the place where I was in Richmond, physically stagnant and also emotionally stagnant, travel, I knew at a core level, I knew that I had to go somewhere.

Kelli Wall (07:07)
Mm-hmm.

Lauran Peoples (07:15)
I knew that I couldn't stay here. I really felt like if I stayed put that I would just like wither away. And you know, I don't want to sound dramatic, but I thought I would die if I didn't if I did not pick myself up and go somewhere. And I needed I needed to see different things. I needed to be reminded of even though my grief felt.

Giant and it felt huge and it felt all-consuming I felt like I needed to go somewhere to remind me of how big the world really is and I think that was also the draw to going out West and going to Arizona because Something happens when you look out and you can see You can see ahead with no obstructions No visual barriers. So when you look out and you can see a wide open landscape, I think it does something to you mentally

and it reminds you that the possibilities are endless. They are still wide open spaces for you to exist. So that was kind of the pull for

I had to go. I had been in my condo in Richmond and it was just like loss after loss after loss. And I'm like, I can't stay here. I have to, I have to leave. I have to go.

Kelli Wall (08:26)
Lauran, I can't imagine the strength that took to physically, mentally, and emotionally pick yourself up and say, I'm going to do this. That's truly incredible and so special. Yes.

Lauran Peoples (08:39)
Thank you. It

was scary. I'm not gonna lie. It was scary. And I had a couple of friends who were worried about me they're like, you're going to Sedona by yourself? And I said, yes. And they were like, what are you gonna do? And I said, I don't know yet. And my two dogs, was odd the week before my 40th birthday, that's when my first dog passed away. And it was almost like...

I don't know. think that pets come into our lives and they are on assignment and they know how long they're supposed to stay and they know when it's time to make an exit. And Macy was 16 and out of nowhere, just like the week before my 40th birthday, she got sick and it was almost like, all right, been with you through all of this. You got it now. Go ahead. And so it was.

Yeah, I didn't know what I was going to do. didn't really, it was my first solo trip, so I didn't really have a plan, an itinerary. I knew that I was going to do this retreat and then I knew that I was going to stay a few extra days just to explore. So that is what I did.

Kelli Wall (09:42)
Pets are so special and I that's beautiful how you saw that with Macy so you've described that first trip as an intentional act of radical acceptance

Lauran Peoples (09:44)
Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Kelli Wall (09:53)
Can you share what that phrase means to you and how travel helped you embody it?

Lauran Peoples (09:57)
Yeah, so radical acceptance. mean, in the series of losses that I experienced, you know, my, I think each one was

a shock, obviously, because even if you have aging parents or you have parents dealing with illness, it's still like, you know that it's coming, but you're still like never really prepared. So it started with my mom. And then a year later, it was my dad. And we were also in COVID. My mom passed away like a week before COVID hit. So it's like,

As I'm experiencing these losses, I'm like, man, I feel like I'm just getting beat. I feel like I'm getting beaten. And by the time the loss happened with Phoebe, it was something that was like, OK, like, what is going on here? Because if you are a person of faith, no matter what it is, if you believe in a higher power, the universe, then you know that none of us are here to be intentionally hurt or intentionally broken.

beyond repair. So by the time Phoebe came and that happened with her, I kind of stepped back and I was like, what is happening here? And I started to look at it instead of loss more as like a clearing. Like something is happening in my life. Things are being people and things are being cleared out of my life for some reason. I don't know what it is, but I started looking at it

like a clearing and then when Macy passed away I'm like leading up to that Sedona trip there the radical acceptance part came in it's like I am single I am 40 I'm getting ready to be 40 I do not have any children I do not have any parents I have to accept that in a way that does not

break me or diminish me. I don't know that I can be okay with it yet, but I have to walk into it. I have to accept it, all parts of it. And I have to walk into it with curiosity and courage because I have to figure out if all I have is me, then I should probably get to know me better. And that is what radical acceptance looked like for me.

Kelli Wall (12:14)
You are an incredibly mindful and thoughtful person. Have you always been that way or was it going through this series of unimaginable losses that made you reflect in a way that you hadn't before?

Lauran Peoples (12:18)
Thank you.

I had been so I will say that I I am always I'm a writer at heart and I've always loved to write ever since I was little I have tons and tons of journals notebooks filled with thoughts and ideas and dreams and So I've always been a writer. So I've always been Very intuitive and kind of like an introvert and I do think that I've been trying to figure myself out since I was a child Trying to figure out certain things

I will say that the losses kind of put me on a different path in how deep I was willing to go to figure out these things or to figure out certain things about myself. And I will say it kind of rocked my identity because I am...

quiet and introverted, but I'm also extremely competitive. I love to win. so throughout my life, all I ever did was win in a quiet but self-affirming way. And so I'm used to like winning, like in my career, just in life. And when these things started to happen to me, I felt I was losing. I felt like I was failing, especially with Phoebe. There was a lot of shame

and it also, felt like a failure. Like this is kind of like the one thing I'm supposed to be able to do. And I felt like a failure. And so it, I will say that these losses and this massive clearing, it definitely did kind of push me farther into mindfulness and understanding myself than I ever had been before.

Kelli Wall (13:57)
The losses alone are incredibly difficult, but then you speak to feeling like a failure. That's a lot to feel and to take on and to work your way through. And I know you said you're an introvert and you're competitive. And I hope maybe the next time somebody asks you to describe yourself, you say it's strong because I am just like, God, you are incredible listening to you and how mindful and calm you've been about this. So you've taken this. You're taking this journey out to Arizona.

Lauran Peoples (14:16)
Thank you.

Kelli Wall (14:25)
Was there a specific moment during this trip or one of your other trips when you felt a shift, like you were reconnecting with yourself or your purpose in a new way?

Lauran Peoples (14:36)
Yeah, I definitely felt a shift in

And that was the

And I had also worked with and I still am currently working with an amazing trauma informed therapist. And because I wanted to do this solo retreat in Arizona, it had a lot of energy work, body work, breath work. And so I got my itinerary for this retreat and I actually shared it with my therapist, right, because we're a team. And I didn't want to go

out

there and undo work that we had done to even get me to this place to understand that okay I have to do a little bit of digging so

I shared the agenda with her and she approved. She's like, this is going to be fantastic for you, Lauran. This is everything that you need to to help process some of these things. And so the the moment of clarity or kind of what was like an inflection point for me was when I was in Sedona. I my retreat was four and a half days. And after four and a half days, I checked into this Airbnb that had beautiful views.

just like floor to ceiling windows, I was staring at the red rock I mean it was beautiful and I had a pause where I was looking out and I thought to myself this is the nicest thing I have ever done for myself and I have been doing nice things for myself ever since and that was the moment that it kind of created this core value in travel for me like at the end of the day it's me doing something for my

not for anyone else. It's me doing something nice for myself and that is what I've continued to do.

Kelli Wall (16:14)
I think so often, especially as women, we want to take care of others with the best intentions, right? But you got to take care of yourself too. And for you to realize that and to do it and to continue doing it, that's, it's beautiful. like taking my mental notes, it's, so important when people are listening to this, it's okay to have these moments to yourself. It's okay to do nice things for yourself. It's not a selfish act. You should have these moments for you and take care of you.

Lauran Peoples (16:29)
Thank you.

It's the same thing you do with your plants. It's the same thing you do if you have children, you know, it's like And there's I think for me with solo travel. There's been a lot of reparenting right depending on How you grew up and what your childhood was like? Sometimes you may have felt or I will speak solely for myself. Sometimes you feel like you have to earn nice things or earn affection or earn you know, someone's good graces and

with

re-parenting, you know, don't have to earn rest to take it. You don't have to earn joy to be able to experience it and plan those things for yourself. The fact that you exist is it makes joy a birthright and that's not something that you have to earn. So that has definitely reframed the way that I think about

my trips and my solo travel. Like, yes, I spend money on these things, but it's what I want to do. And I don't have to earn it. I mean, I do have to earn money, but I don't have to earn. I don't have to earn the right to be dazzled or to marvel at beautiful things or to do this really nice thing for myself.

Kelli Wall (17:51)
Absolutely. You deserve it. We all deserve it. You've got to love and nourish yourself as well.

And we talked about Sedona. I know that's what we've been focusing on, but you've also taken some other solo trips. So you've visited a wide range of places from Lisbon to Senegal to Vancouver and Costa Rica. Were there any destinations that felt particularly healing or symbolic for you or maybe a reason why you chose those places?

Lauran Peoples (18:16)
Yeah, so I have a few.

was the first international trip that I took. It was the first international solo trip that I took and I planned it for Valentine's Day. That was something else that became a ritual for me. An annual solo Valentine's Day trip and it was kind of my way of reinforcing that I'm going to show up for myself even if no one else does. I'm going to be happy either way.

whether I'm in a relationship or whether I'm not, I'm not going to wait for someone to come and take me on a trip. I am going to plan this trip for myself and go. so Madrid was the first trip that I went on and it was Valentine's Day. And I can still remember the smell. It wasn't a bad smell. It was a different like I am in Europe and I'm in another country. And I just remember it. I remember everything. It was a very

sensory

focused experience for me. And so I remember Madrid vividly. I followed up with the next year for Valentine's Day and went to Lisbon. And so I don't really have a rhyme or reason on how I pick these places because I travel so much for work. I do have some brand loyalty. And so normally it starts with figuring out where I can get the most value for my miles and points. And I've learned that Western Europe

is a fantastic place to go in February. It's affordable, it's there off season, and it's usually still warm or seasonal. So yeah, Madrid is the first one that really stands out to me. The second one is Senegal. I went to Senegal this past November, November of 2024, and I was there for Thanksgiving. And Senegal is particularly important to me.

because it was a manifestation that happened very quickly. I remember last summer, you you go through different phases and stages of grief. One of them is isolation, where you just want to be by yourself. You don't want to really connect. And so last year in the summer, I had come out of that and I was in a different stage. And I'm like, I really want to reconnect. I really want to be in community and I don't want to be alone for the holidays this year.

And then through a series of random events, I ran into someone from my community who was hosting a festival in Senegal and gave me the information. And I was like, yes, I am going. And so for Thanksgiving, did end up being, I went to Senegal solo, but I did end up being in community for Thanksgiving. So Senegal is extremely important to me.

Kelli Wall (20:45)
and paying attention to these little signs and symbols that sometimes happen in our everyday life that we even unintentionally don't pay attention to or we miss. Being really in tune with that is kind of a theme I'm hearing here. And of course, the Valentine's Day trip, the love yourself carrying through. It's so important. And I wanted to ask too, and this is getting just a smidge off topic, but

Lauran Peoples (20:50)
Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

⁓ yes. It is.

Kelli Wall (21:11)
A lot of the travelers that I have on, including myself, have done solo group trips where you meet with other solo travelers, but you have opted to go independent. Curious why that's the route that you chose and why that was better for you.

Lauran Peoples (21:15)
Mm-hmm.

I think that it was, I think that it has something to do with the amount that I travel for

I usually travel alone for work for business travel, all domestic, no international business travel for work yet. But I feel like...

In that frequent business travel, I also have developed just like things that like my own little travel rituals, things that like I know that I to stay at a particular brand. I know that I like to fly, you know, a certain airline. I know that I'm a little squeamish around.

group transportation like buses like even with work if we have a networking event and they are providing motor coach transportation I will still uber there it's just these are my own little quirks and so when I first started to explore solo travel starting with Sedona and then following up with Madrid I just did it by myself and I have looked into group solo group travel but I haven't I haven't taken a trip like

that yet but I really think that I also wanted to figure out what is it that I am really into.

And a lot of times, and I think that people have their own individual journeys with travel and with solo travel. And sometimes people are looking for a little more structure or some recommendations. But for me, I wanted to figure out what am I really into? Like if I can do anything that I want, if I'm going somewhere for five days, first, where do I wanna go? And when I get there, what do I wanna do? And so through that, I've developed like my own little travel rituals that

very personal and specific to me and so I think that that is kind of why I've done opted to go solo.

Kelli Wall (23:14)
You touched on quirks that we all have. we all have them, but it's so interesting because it's another perk of solo travel that you might not actively think about, like a rhyme or reason to your point with public transportation. There are certain things that, you know, we all do or don't want to do where if we're in a group trip, sometimes you got to lean in a little bit. ⁓ Or even with friends, you know, to do something you might not want to do, it might be out of your comfort zone. You don't have to explain that to anybody on a solo trip.

Lauran Peoples (23:33)
Mm-hmm.

Kelli Wall (23:42)
You just do what works for you.

Lauran Peoples (23:44)
Right. I remember going to

in February of 2024. I went to Lisbon and I used the app Wonderlog to plan out my itinerary and to figure out where I want to go. And I had this whole robust itinerary planned and I literally got to Lisbon and took a nap.

I did the first, the whole first day, I took a nap and it was just, was what my body needed. It was what I needed and I didn't have to explain it to anyone. I didn't feel like I had wasted money. I went to Lisbon and I took a nap. Right, right.

Kelli Wall (24:23)
I mean, there are worse places to take a nap than Portugal.

But you have the freedom to do that. And interestingly enough, too, you've said that solo travel isn't about escape, right? When for so many of us, it is. You're like, I just want to escape the day-to-day world. I just want to escape the monotony. But for you, it's about presence. So can you talk a little bit about what presence looks like for you while you're traveling alone?

Lauran Peoples (24:48)
Yeah, when I'm traveling

I feel like I'm in constant dialogue with myself. You know, how I'm feeling. Do I feel safe? Do I feel curious? Curiosity is probably my true north because I feel like if I'm genuinely curious about something, it's always a signal to me that I'm on the right path. And so being present with myself, it is really about

kind of like tuning out a little bit and really zooming in. Like how do I feel right now? Like what are some things that would make me happy? Like what would I like to do? I mentioned, I think I mentioned early, coffee is like a ritual for me. So it's like those are some grounding activities for me. Coffee is a ritual every morning.

feeling safe enough to get up and like walk around a little bit and like you know scope out the scene and see what's happening. it is really time for me when I'm on my solo trips, yeah I'm still available via text or phone but it's just me. It's just me there and I try to be mindful of

If I were with someone else and they were distracted constantly, like on their phone, doing other things, how would that make me feel? And so I remind myself that I am on this trip with someone, me. So how do I want to be present? I don't want to be distracted and I don't want to be...

disengaged. So those are things that I keep in mind. Like I am traveling with someone. I'm traveling with myself and it goes a long way in the because I know that I'm good company to myself. I know that I'm good company for someone else when when the opportunity presents itself. I can say that because I've spent a lot of time with myself.

Kelli Wall (26:36)
being in tune and listening to your body, right? The different reactions we have, sometimes we brush them off, but really trying to pause. Okay, why am I feeling the way that I'm feeling? know, is there something going on and trying to address it versus just pushing through it? It's a really interesting way to look at it. Yeah.

Lauran Peoples (26:43)
Mm-hmm.

Right, right. And

the flexibility with solo travel, it gives you the opportunity to really hone in on those.

or those indicators that sometimes you miss. You know what I mean? You might, I've been on solo trips before and maybe I planned an excursion or something and I have this little nudge that's like, I don't know if we want to do that. And I'm like, I agree. I don't think I do. And it's just like, know, right. So it really builds, it builds a lot of trust with yourself. And I think,

Kelli Wall (27:20)
Yeah. And that's okay.

Lauran Peoples (27:30)
refining the ability to hear that little voice and understand what that voice like is this fear is this is this something else but it really gives you a time to gives you time and space to like dig a little deeper into that and figure it out.

Kelli Wall (27:45)
and perfect segue because I know you're somebody who studies how people connect to a place. So how has your sense of place and belonging evolved through the solo trips that you've taken?

Lauran Peoples (27:56)
That is a fantastic question. And I

that my sense of place and belonging, it has evolved in a way that I know now, and I didn't know this before, that it's always inside of me. Anywhere that I am, it is inside of me. And I think that...

outside of travel.

I think that I went through a large portion of life looking for somewhere to fit in or waiting for an environment to feel like it was home to me and that I belonged there. But in hindsight, going back, I never really felt that within myself and I never felt really comfortable enough or like I knew myself well enough on that level to feel anchored. So I feel like

what I do with work and creating.

safe spaces and welcoming spaces for other people to come into my destination and connect. I definitely feel like that has helped me do the same thing wherever I am. And I could be and it's about all of those little elements and all of those little micro decisions that lead up to whether or not you feel like you belong. And thinking of the way that a lot of

vaccinations approach social inclusion and Welcoming people and diversity and all of these things I know when we first started having this conversation in the industry a couple of years ago There was this micro focus to

make people kind of see themselves in your destination through images and through things like that. But if they get there, I can see myself in the picture of in your destination. But if I get there and I don't feel it, then there's like a disconnect. And a lot of times, too, like and I will say this traveling as a traveling as a black woman with solo travel, I'm not looking for pictures of other black solo

women that are traveling. That's not the... that is not going to be whether or not I decide to come to your destination. What I am looking for is that when I get there, everyone wants to feel considered. No matter what race you are, no matter what gender, no matter your what your accessibility needs are, everyone wants to be considered and it's not showing me a picture of myself.

Kelli Wall (30:05)
you

Lauran Peoples (30:21)
It is if I'm a solo woman traveler and I arrive into your destination or your hotel at night. Is it well lit? Do I feel secure? Do I have to key into the lobby to get in or is anyone it's just I want to feel like I've been considered And so I think that that has definitely It definitely supports me feeling like I belong and helping me establish my sense of place

Kelli Wall (30:29)
you

Yeah, and you talk about those images and my gosh, now I could probably in two seconds put myself anywhere in the world in this image. But seeing is just, you know, one of the five senses, you know, how am going to feel what you know, there's just so much so many other things that go into that versus what would it look like there, right? Like, what does it feel like? So I truly would love to be as an in tune with myself as you are.

Lauran Peoples (30:55)
Yeah.

Kelli Wall (31:13)
and being aware, it's truly inspiring. So, speaking of that, what have your solo trips taught you about identity, both the identity you carry and the one that unfolds when you're away on these trips and not around everything familiar?

Lauran Peoples (31:13)
Thank you.

man, so I always, I say that I always come back from my solo trips feeling much more capable than I give myself credit

and way cooler than I ever think I am, right? Because I've been able to develop these interests and these things that are true to who I am. And so solo travel, it's done that in a number of...

ways in terms of identity, it kind of reinforces for me that I am not a monolith. None of us are. You know, none of us are monoliths. And so it has really encouraged me to lean into different parts of my identity, which

I think sometimes especially for women, we get categorized and we get put into these boxes like, you are single or you're married. you have children or you do not. You know, and for me, it's like I do have children, none of them are living. I am single, but I was married at one point. And it makes me show up in this very multi dimensional way and this very

layered way. And so that is also what I'm looking for on these trips and in these destinations. I'm not looking for a one-dimensional cookie cutter experience. I am looking for something that will allow me to tap into the different parts of my identity and see myself in the little things. And that is what I mean, I've learned so many cool little things about myself and

It has changed the way not only my relationship with myself, but what I find too through like dating or through just like professional networking and things like that, a lot of people do not know what they're really into. You know, they just don't know because they haven't like taken time to, they haven't taken the time to explore. And so it makes me feel a lot more confident in...

my identity and who I am, and also curious to learn more.

Kelli Wall (33:28)
Yeah, you were talking about your trip to Portugal and how you had a whole agenda planned. And to piggyback on what you said about a lot of people might not even know what they like or what they don't like because you kind of just go into this groove when it's you and you have to make the decision. Guess what? You really have to listen to what, you know, your your body's telling you, your mind's telling you, do I like this? Do I not? And that's your opportunity to really turn in versus just going along with it because somebody else wanted to do it.

Lauran Peoples (33:57)
Right, absolutely. it also, I mean, I think behind every decision, there's a why. Right. So if I want to go to like this, because I've been in hospitality so long, I am just really fascinated and enthralled by kind of the pomp and circumstance around some elements of hospitality and tourism. One of my things that I like to do is I like to have afternoon tea.

In the different countries that I travel to and the kicker is coffee is my ritual. I don't even like tea but but the why for me is like I'm just so fascinated I'm fascinated by taking like a little an hour or two and There's all the pomp and circumstance. They're all the little dishes. They're beautiful. The China is beautiful everything is so intentional and so

and present it so well. And I'm always curious about the people around me. Like when given the option to do anything else on a random Tuesday afternoon, these people are choosing to come and sit and enjoy a nice cup of tea with little, you know, little sandwiches and things like that. I love it. And so I've had afternoon tea in Madrid. I've done it in Lisbon. I've had tea in Montreal. And it's just, one of those things that I like. I like.

Kelli Wall (35:09)
one of your traditions

now.

Lauran Peoples (35:10)
Yes, it is. It is.

Kelli Wall (35:12)
Yeah, I think

that goes and you just said it, but going back to being curious, right? Like even if it's not something that, you know, would particularly interest you right off the top, but if you're a little curious about it, hey, go check it out, you know, dig into it. And I wonder too, if they're thinking the same thing about you when you're sitting at tea. ⁓

Lauran Peoples (35:16)
Mm-hmm.

Exactly, exactly.

Like the same exact thing I just, love.

I love people and I love

people to place. And it's just like, we're all there for very, very different reasons. And it doesn't always have to be, you don't always have to know the end to explore along the way and figure it out. And it's odd to me because like I said, I'm a coffee girl through and through. drink coffee every single day. But afternoon tea, it's like, it's a vibe and I enjoy it. Yeah.

Kelli Wall (35:57)
hits the spot.

Lauran Peoples (35:59)
Yeah. ⁓

Kelli Wall (35:59)
I am also a coffee girl. I was not until COVID, but now it's like sometimes when I'm laying in bed at night, I'm thinking about that cup of coffee in the morning. This is bad.

Lauran Peoples (36:07)
Yes, yeah,

it's very grounding and I talked about this with my therapist. It became kind of like a ritual because it is grounding but it's warm and it is just it's something that is just a little indulgent and it's a routine and it's something that you can look forward to and it's very it's very comforting on a few on a somatic level. It's very comforting. So

Kelli Wall (36:28)
I'm right there with you.

we were just talking about your afternoon tea and you know, kind of what brought people there and we started in the beginning talking about your Sedona trip. And it was really something that launched off from some hardships that you were going through some grief you're working through. And I think

You know, we know grief is not linear. know, grief is you have your ups and downs and you go through different phases. But for anybody out there that is facing a major life change or maybe deep grief, what would you say to them if they're considering solo travel as a part of their healing journey? Or maybe if they're not, you know, is it something that they should possibly consider?

Lauran Peoples (37:05)
For anyone experiencing grief and going through whatever stage they happen to be, my first bit of advice would be to be kind to yourself. That is one of the best things that you can do and to really tap into

Kelli Wall (37:11)
whatever stage they happen to be, my first bit of advice would be to be kind to yourself.

That is one of the best things that you can do and to really tap

Lauran Peoples (37:26)
caring for yourself and loving on yourself in a way that maybe you haven't before. Whether that is getting extra rest, being sad, feeling all the things and feeling like it's okay to feel like you just got rocked because you did. And ⁓ also

Kelli Wall (37:26)
for yourself and loving on yourself in a way that maybe you haven't before, whether that is getting extra rest, being sad, feeling all the things and feeling like it's okay to feel like you just got rocked because you did. And also,

Lauran Peoples (37:47)
to be a little selfish. You know what I mean?

Kelli Wall (37:47)
To be a little selfish. You know what I mean?

Lauran Peoples (37:51)
Grief gives you the opportunity to, I think, self-protect and to put yourself first in a way that maybe you've been hesitant to do in the past for a number of different reasons. But ⁓ I think with grief...

Kelli Wall (37:51)
Grief gives you the opportunity to, I think, self protect and to put yourself first in a way that maybe you've been hesitant to do in the past for a number of different reasons. But ⁓ I think with grief.

Lauran Peoples (38:10)
Grief can affect you in such a way where it will break you down. And if you let it do that, then you won't have anything left. So I think that for me, I knew that after all of those losses, like I really didn't have anything else to lose. Like I can't lose myself. So I think,

Kelli Wall (38:10)
Grief can affect you in such a way where it will break you down. And if you let it do that, then you won't have anything left. So I think that for me, I knew that after all of those losses, I really didn't have anything else to lose.

Lauran Peoples (38:30)
I would recommend solo travel, but not as an anecdote, but more as a supplement to caring for yourself and being kind for yourself and doing something nice for yourself.

I would also recommend solo travel as a way to change your environment. Like I said earlier with Sedona, I had to get out of this environment. So much had happened. And sometimes I know there are internet quotes and memes and things like that. And it's like you can't heal in the same place that broke you. And in many ways that is true. And I know that everyone, it's not feasible, you know, for someone, for everyone.

to experience grief and then relocate. But you can take yourself out of that environment for a little while and change the scenery and focus on self-care and compassion and meeting yourself wherever you are. Like, you know, taking a nap in Lisbon, it was definitely me responding to something that I needed during that time.

Kelli Wall (39:34)
Yeah, you're able to listen to yourself. Yeah. So now that you've taken nine solo trips, how has the meaning of solo travel changed for you from that initial first trip to now?

Lauran Peoples (39:37)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yes.

It is absolutely solo travel for me is definitely a

of reconnection. It is filled with soft landings and kind of like subtle rebellion and it is it has definitely changed in a way that I expect

to see new things. It's very much a part of my life and how I plan my life. And I've made some changes in my life so that I can travel a little bit more for, so that I can do solo travel a little more. I'm still very curious and I think that my curiosity has only grown with each country. My curiosity has only grown and

It's, I'm always curious about what else is out there and what else is there for me to see. So I think from the beginning, was kind of, it was a bit of a coping mechanism for me in dealing with those initial stages of grief. And now it has definitely become a ritual that I anchor myself in and it's how I pour back into myself.

Kelli Wall (40:52)
I would love at this part of the episode with every guest, I ask them to share a solo travel story. So when you look back on your nine solo trips, be it Sedona or one of your Valentine's Day trips or the nap in Portugal, that could be the highlight. I would just love if you could share a story that stands out for you maybe because it was an unforgettable experience or it challenged you or surprised you, any that come to mind.

Lauran Peoples (41:06)
Mm-hmm.

I will say that

thing that stands out to me in Senegal, you mentioned earlier, paying attention to the signs and the little things that like follow us along the way or pop up along the way. And I have a monthly ritual. I call it yay day. My birthday is on August 7th. So the seventh of every month, I do something small for myself. Sometimes it's a candle, sometimes it's a class, sometimes it's just dinner, but something like that little monthly celebration to like remind myself that

I am to be celebrated on a regular and consistent basis. So it was before my trip to Senegal, I had gone to a store, I had a gift card on yay day and they had banana frosted coffee.

And it sounds weird, right? Like it shouldn't work, but it does. And so I just, this combo, it was just like, this is everything I need. When I went to Senegal,

I ended up finding banana juice in one of the markets. And so every morning that I was in Senegal, I had banana coffee. I had a little bit of banana juice in my coffee every morning. And it is something that stuck with me because not only was it part of my existing ritual with coffee, the coffee in Senegal is amazing.

but it also added like this little unknown element. Like I said, it shouldn't work, but it does, like so many things in life, like finding joy after grief or finding joy in grief, strengthening your relationship with yourself first so that you have better relationships with other people. So many things, finding community and being alone.

So many things that in theory should not work, but they do. Senegal and the banana juice and my banana coffee is one of the things that sticks out to me.

Kelli Wall (43:06)
What a beautiful way of looking at that. again, turning inward and paying attention to your point, like things that, you know, shouldn't go together. You're thinking about the banana and the coffee. I might have to see if I can find some banana juice around here and give that a go. But yeah. But the parallels that you were able to draw from that, wasn't just, you know, the banana coffee. That's incredibly thoughtful and mindful. Yeah.

Lauran Peoples (43:20)
You might be able to find it online. It's interesting.

Thank you.

Kelli Wall (43:33)
Thank you so much, Lauran. I have loved having on here. You are so thoughtful and mindful with how you move through life, and it's really just honorable. So at this point, we are going to end the episode with how we end every solo travel impact episode, and that's by asking the same three questions. So first question is, the advice I'd give to someone considering solo travel is,

Lauran Peoples (44:00)
The advice I'd give to someone considering solo travel is to do it for yourself and make that, make yourself and your interest and your curiosity be the primary reason and let everything else, including social media, be an afterthought. Don't be driven by that or feeling forced to have a certain experience. Just have the experience and make sure that it is, it belongs.

to you.

Kelli Wall (44:30)
My favorite part about solo travel is...

Lauran Peoples (44:34)
My favorite part about solo travel is that I can do whatever I want, anything that I want. It doesn't matter if it's weird or if it's something small or if it's a last minute change of plans. My favorite thing about solo travel is that the experience belongs completely to me and I am the itinerary.

Kelli Wall (44:55)
something I learned about myself through solo travel is.

Lauran Peoples (45:00)
Something I learned about myself through solo travel is I am a lot more capable than I give myself credit for and I always feel a lot more cool than I thought I was and it makes me feel like I'd be my friend and I'd date me and I would want to hang out with me because I am certified.

Kelli Wall (45:18)
Ha

Well, I've only known you for about an hour and I think you're pretty cool too. So I will co-sign that. Lauran, thank you for sharing so openly and honestly. Your story is such a powerful reminder that solo travel isn't always just about the adventure or the escape. Sometimes it's about choosing presence in the midst of pain.

Lauran Peoples (45:27)
Thank you. Thank you.

Kelli Wall (45:46)
and creating space to reconnect with ourselves after everything has changed. And I know your parents and Phoebe are so proud of you. Thank you for coming on and sharing.

Lauran Peoples (45:54)
Thank you.

Thank you so much, Kelli, and I wish continued soft landings for everyone, solo traveling and those considering solo travel.

Kelli Wall (46:05)
Amazing. Thank you so much. Yes, take care.

Lauran Peoples (46:07)
Thank you.

Kelli Wall (46:09)
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